As I was watching Sex and the City yesterday night while lying in bed thinking about my miserable love life I discovered that I was not the only woman who acted stupid around a guy she liked; who made me blush 4 weeks ago, when no one managed to do so for a long time... Does that mean that I managed to find someone interesting, someone I liked, but that I am so close to making him run away as fast and far as he could?
I found myself wondering for the past week about that: How do we constantly manage to fascinate boys we are not interested in, yet manage to sound extremely silly around this certain guy?
I only met monsieur J 3 times in my life and still he succeeded in making me blush, acting stupid AND jealous and last deciding to delete his number (?!). Well yes, I discovered that being manipulated by a man in my mid thirties was too much for me to handle. Of course deleting his number was not an act to delete him from my life, since I am looking forward to bumping into him at parties, restaurants and bars... After all isn't Beirut similar to a village where everybody knows everybody and where you can never disappear but you can always hide if you decide to do so? Deleting his number was only to help myself not look for his number in my mobile and decide to call him whenever I feel like it, and again make a fool out of myself. I already established this "stupid behaviour" from my side and now I decided that it was time I act like the smart woman I am when around men of no interest to me, therefore I will wait for his calls in case he misses me and decides to see me. So I am following my dear friend's advice: "the ball is on his side now," and hoping he really sees that ball... If only I know how to make this ball so big he does not miss it...
In last night's episode of Sex and the City, Carrie was talking about this "waza zaza zsu" or whatever she called it... She was referring to this little pinch in the stomach we feel when we meet a guy we like... She kept talking and talking while sitting on the grass with him and managed to make him flee suddenly, on his motorbike, as fast as he could.
Did I make monsieur J do that? Flee as fast as he could and decide to ignore the message I sent him yesterday? We were supposed to meet for dinner or drink, 2 weeks ago, but he had to leave the country the same week due to family circumstances, and left me wondering if I was ditched, if he even cared about the dinner or was looking forward to it at all. I even asked a friend of mine if she thought he jumped up and down when he got my text message asking if he would like to have dinner with me soon, to which he answered "But of course... we will keep in touch, kiss." I guess not... Come to think of it do boys jump up and down when they know a girl is interested in them? I know that I do when I am excited about something. But from the conversation we had 2 days ago on the phone, I understood he was not dying to see me, but mentioned that he would like to join me to any cultural event happening in the country, and that I should keep him posted about those. To be honest, I am not sure I would like to be his cultural attachee. Even though it would be a very interesting job at any cultural center, but I am much more interested in having a more intimate role in his life. And being a very motivated woman as I am, I decided I was not going to take the job as his personal cultural attachee, and therefore, to escape the temptation, I deleted THE number.
Now the question remains, is he really that interested about the cultural scene in Beirut that he will contact me for news?
I found myself wondering for the past week about that: How do we constantly manage to fascinate boys we are not interested in, yet manage to sound extremely silly around this certain guy?
I only met monsieur J 3 times in my life and still he succeeded in making me blush, acting stupid AND jealous and last deciding to delete his number (?!). Well yes, I discovered that being manipulated by a man in my mid thirties was too much for me to handle. Of course deleting his number was not an act to delete him from my life, since I am looking forward to bumping into him at parties, restaurants and bars... After all isn't Beirut similar to a village where everybody knows everybody and where you can never disappear but you can always hide if you decide to do so? Deleting his number was only to help myself not look for his number in my mobile and decide to call him whenever I feel like it, and again make a fool out of myself. I already established this "stupid behaviour" from my side and now I decided that it was time I act like the smart woman I am when around men of no interest to me, therefore I will wait for his calls in case he misses me and decides to see me. So I am following my dear friend's advice: "the ball is on his side now," and hoping he really sees that ball... If only I know how to make this ball so big he does not miss it...
In last night's episode of Sex and the City, Carrie was talking about this "waza zaza zsu" or whatever she called it... She was referring to this little pinch in the stomach we feel when we meet a guy we like... She kept talking and talking while sitting on the grass with him and managed to make him flee suddenly, on his motorbike, as fast as he could.
Did I make monsieur J do that? Flee as fast as he could and decide to ignore the message I sent him yesterday? We were supposed to meet for dinner or drink, 2 weeks ago, but he had to leave the country the same week due to family circumstances, and left me wondering if I was ditched, if he even cared about the dinner or was looking forward to it at all. I even asked a friend of mine if she thought he jumped up and down when he got my text message asking if he would like to have dinner with me soon, to which he answered "But of course... we will keep in touch, kiss." I guess not... Come to think of it do boys jump up and down when they know a girl is interested in them? I know that I do when I am excited about something. But from the conversation we had 2 days ago on the phone, I understood he was not dying to see me, but mentioned that he would like to join me to any cultural event happening in the country, and that I should keep him posted about those. To be honest, I am not sure I would like to be his cultural attachee. Even though it would be a very interesting job at any cultural center, but I am much more interested in having a more intimate role in his life. And being a very motivated woman as I am, I decided I was not going to take the job as his personal cultural attachee, and therefore, to escape the temptation, I deleted THE number.
Now the question remains, is he really that interested about the cultural scene in Beirut that he will contact me for news?
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